Romantic Relationships

Is First The Worst: Things To Look Out For Your First Year Of Marriage



Before I dive deeper into the content of this blog I must say something to the lovely single ladies. Ladies please ask God (and follow his guidance; do not falter from this) for someone who loves Jesus more than he loves you.

I also beg of you to make certain that the person you are marrying is someone who is kind, loving, gentle, gracious and someone who you do not have any second thoughts about. If any of these things are not secure as “yes” I can assure you that your marriage will not be all that it can be.

Throughout my adolescence and adulthood, I noticed so many rings being tossed to the side like garbage and now realize that a common denominator for a majority of these marriages was a lack of Christ in the home.

My disclaimer:

I realize that some couples who have not accepted Jesus that are living a more peaceful, loving life than some Christians. Trust me, I know. But have you considered spiritual warfare? The fact that there is a battle going on for people’s souls? Christian marriages are attacked because they bring great influence in the Kingdom of God. I am not justifying the turmoil in some Christian households but am posing a fact and it’s one that is important to think about.


I know that without all the qualities I mentioned being in place and secure my marriage would not have stood a chance. By God’s grace and because I chose to wait for the right man, I have married one of the Godliest, gentle, loving men I have ever met in my life.

Now on to this first year business… I cannot speak for everyone when I give testimony to the fact that the first year is difficult. I can let you know that our first year was pretty tough. I can also give you a list, not exhaustive by any means, of four issues (humorous in retrospect) Alex and I had to work through in order to maintain peace and functionality in our new home.

a) Personal space –

I, as an only child, (yes I will play that card) found it difficult to allow someone else into my personal space. I was used to having a bedroom, bathroom and recreation space to myself. For me these were places no one could enter. They were havens where I could sit in nothing but silence and peace. Things changed a little bit when I introduced a 6,1, Italian manoid into my house. In a matter of one day we were sharing a bedroom, sink, toilet, fridge and chocolate cupboard. It kind of felt like I was jumping into freezing cold water at first. You know that affect they depict in movies? The one where Ryan Gosling says, “hey girl” and the girls heart turns to mush? Yeah, well. When my space was taken over my heart definitely stopped a little…

b) Bodily functions

growing up I was told that boys expelled gases a lot more often then girls. Whenever I heard something of that nature I would wrinkly my nose, twirl my hair and laugh along with my friends until one day, actually one year and a couple weeks ago, I was no longer laughing. I don’t think I need to expand on this any further.

c) Parents and in-laws

They are a very big blessing. They can also provide an iron sharpens iron effect when things aren’t going to smoothly between the two camps. A clash in cultures can arise while misunderstandings ensue…I think you get the picture! Thank God for God’s grace on us and them.

d) Differences in diet

I really enjoy eating well and feeling good. As a natural result, I am a huge fan of eating the right food groups in moderation. Alex, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with Ramen noodles purchasing packages of pre-seasoned rice from the Dollar Store. It took a little time and coaxing but I eventually lured him to the dark side of ethnic/healthy food…hehe.

e) Money!

I like to make and spend money. Alexander really likes to make and save. I’m sure you can see where the conflict may have ensued with this one.

There you have it, these are some of the many things Alex and I had the chance to work through. Because of them, and God’s grace, we are much stronger and efficient when it comes to solving arguments and settling grievances.

So, to those of you who are getting married congratulations!To those of you who were curious about what this post had to say, I wish you the best!

With much love,




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