I was in my early 20’s and was worrying about whether I was too old to ‘find love.’
Comparing myself to my mother’s story. My mum was 21 when she married and had me when she was 25. I’m 23 and not sure when or if it’ll happen to me, but I had hope.
When I was 23, God led me to volunteer and move to Africa for half a year. While there, my perspective flipped 180. I decided I wanted Gods will above mine.
I wanted God’s will, whether this meant I’d be a single missionary in Africa or end up married and with children serving the Lord that way.
This was definitely the way to go as there are particular desires/questions in a woman’s heart that can only be met by Jesus.
Trying to fulfill those desires in the man you love will always leave you wanting because he was never meant to fill that role, this realization is the first step in a success relationship and marriage.
Lesson one: be willing to wait danggit! 😀
Just what everyone wants to hear right? Haha, I certainly didn’t (this is Katie speaking btw) but it’s the best advice EVER.
Be willing to wait and ask God for wisdom when you feel you’ve met someone you could see yourself with. If my husband and I had of rushed into marriage we would have messed it up. God knows the best timing.
“The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.”
Lesson two: guard your heart! (yes, you may have heard this many times before but the truth behind the words remain just as important)…
Though I had made a decision to have a season of intimacy with Jesus feelings for my then future husband, Michael, grew. This is to be expected, regardless of the relationship you hold with your Creator. I learned that guarding your heart, taking things slower results in less heartache. And helps you understand where you’re at.
“True love isn’t expressed in passionately whispered words an intimate kiss or a embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid.”
Lesson three: surround yourself with wise people who are willing to pass their advice to you!
Be sure to ask mentors you can trust to help pray and give unbiased advice and wisdom into the situation.
(This is Katie speaking again… hehe. Alex and I were mentored by an amazing pastor and his wife. They were our go-to team. I would also recommend a family member/friend who sees into the situation well).
Lesson four: be in relationship with God! Ask Him which moves to make, wait….yes, wait dangit. Then make them.
If you’re seeking God together and God guides you to something you both have agreement in listen to him, do what he says no matter how crazy he knows what he is doing!
For Michael and I, this meant no physical affection while courting. It may sound extreme but it worked wonders for our relationship with God and with each other.
Whenever one of us was upset instead of hugging we would pray for each other, give each other a Bible verse and thus point each other back to what we really needed. We soon discovered that although our society portrays relationships as being mostly physical it isn’t. We are beings comprised of mind, body and soul.
A relationship should start with getting to know each other, then the heart connections, words, gestures, then physical expression. However if a relationship is based physically to begin with it drags all the others aspects along with it.
“During courtship, guarding each other’s purity and refraining from intimacy are the acts of lovemaking.”
I could go on and on about the journey we’ve been on and the continuous lessons we’ve learnt. Really, I could talk for hours about the stories about how Jesus has revealed himself to us but, for the sake of brevity, I will conclude with a quote both my husband and I meditated on before ever meeting each other.
A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her – Maya Angelou
Amen to that…