Well, well. It’s that time again…confession time! And here it goes: I applied for a position with a modelling agency and have an interview on Tuesday.
Yep, I did it and I tell ya, I haven’t been nervous, nervous for a long time and the fact that I am going to a interview where the interviewer is analyzing my appearance makes me nervous, nervous, nervous!
After plucking through countless blank shirts at a Winners in Calgary yesterday I could feel my heart trying to escape my chest. Which shirt would be most flattering? Is it even possible for me, little miss Sport Check-queen of Adidas, to be flattering for this kind of interview? As I hastily scraped the hangers across their metal elevator intense feelings of hopelessness, worry and worthlessness flooded me. With the millions of questions running through my mind I couldn’t breathe or even think straight.
Would I be good enough? What if I am rejected and embarrassed? What if I won’t be accepted because I’m 5,3 and more pounds than most models? Gah! The interview saw my picture and said it quite alright but who knows!
In order to breath and function properly I needed to step back and take a moment to think and pray. “Lord, please calm my anxiety. This is ridiculous!”
I moved my hand to my chest and took a deep breath. My heart slowed as I stepped away from the rack and stared at the ceiling. Why do I feel this way? I hated it. The experience was debilitating and super stressful.
As soon as I asked a voice inside whispered to me gently, “Katie, do you doubt that I am with you and am taking care of you in all circumstances?”My heart stopped trying to break free from my skin. I lifted my hand from my chest to my flushed face. Was that what was wrong?
Colossians 4:6-do not be anxious about anything. Offer up your issues with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Yep. That was what was wrong…
I didn’t trust that the one who made me was going to be able to take care of my heart, regardless of the outcome that might result from that experience.
So, that’s the power of anxiety and a brilliant lead-in to my answer for the proposed question. It makes us think we are the only ones who can deal with the problem and if we don’t, everything will fail. It’s good to know that that belief we may have is not true! From my personal experience, there is SO much value in letting go of the things we can’t control and letting God take them.
There is so much freedom in understanding that He sees us, knows us and cares SO freaking deeply for us! Every single person on this earth is known by and loved by God…
The following verse, about sparrows, has to be my FAVOURITE verse on the topic of letting go of worry…
Matthew 10:29-31: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Anyhow, The best piece of advice I would give to those who worry quite a bit (or even a little) is to stop and take time to give whatever you are struggling with to the Lord. He cares and will take care of things beautifully! This has always been the case for me and will certainly be the case for you.
On another, slightly less diadactic note, I will be sure to keep everyone updated on how the interview goes ;P