Overcoming Obstacles

The Dirty Truth About Boundaries

thedirtytruth

The stage is set.

A splintered wooden board lies across the front of the wooden planks not cloaked by the richly coloured curtain. A bold sign reads, “Welcome To: The Dirty Truth.” In front of the stage sits an expansive crowd. As far as the eye can see are heads cascading down layers of plugged full seating.

One would not have to listen carefully to sense the large audience’s excitement. Perhaps this was due to their anticipation. Soon they would see the ridiculously unwise individual they had managed to bribe onstage. This show of sorts “The Dirty Truth” had been created so that it might be acted out by the most entertainingly foolish of all people.

Frantic classical music plays as two apparitions; dressed in all black, dart hastily back and forth in front of the looming, velvet curtain. After checking behind the veil and whispering to those standing behind it they settle into their respective spots on both ends of the purple waterfall. Finally the music fades and all is quiet as hushed conversations turn to empty air. The apparitions grin widely as they pull the curtains back.

As they do so the absence of curtain reveals a woman who looks to be in her late forties. She appears to be bewildered as her gaze frantically darts to and from both ends of the stage. She squints her eyes and places a shaking hand to her forehead. When she catches a glimpse of all those present her eyes widen and a slight smile lurks across her cherry red lips. The room was quite large indeed. She had an audience; this was just what she had been waiting for.

“Do…do you want to know what I think about them?” She asked. Finally, someone would listen.

“About who?” A loud voice cries from the crowd. A dozen others snicker in anticipation.

The woman seems to not hear the jeers and continues to speak, straining her voice as she does.

“Boundaries, the nasty little things set by people who suffer from selfish ambition and supreme greed. Boundaries, a way for the most arrogant of people to keep themselves away from their God-given duties to care for the most important person in all of creation, me. Wouldn’t you all agree?”

No sooner had she finished before the auditorium boomed with raucous, cackling laughter. A cacophony of voices shouted out at her.

“Stupid woman…”

“Get her out of her. She’s ever more ridiculous than I expected.”

“Bring on the next act… how ignorant.”

The woman’s face dropped as she leaned back from the noisy crowd and lifted her eyes against the blinding spotlight.

“How dare you insult my rights and what I think on the issue? It’s all about me. No one should set boundaries about me! I am perfect in every way.”

A deep voice sang above the rest. “Yank her off the stage… what a loony bin.” Much to the woman’s dismay that is exactly what the crowd did…

That’s exactly what her family did. That’s exactly what her coworkers did. That’s exactly what her friends did. They yanked her off the stage.

A note to those who desire to be and are budding in wisdom:

No one wants to be around someone who does not agree to certain boundaries that have been made. Like it or not boundaries are necessary for the health and growth of every relationship! 

                                  Point being this: don’t be like the cherry lip lady…

I find it sad when people are willing to make great fools out of themselves for a cause the majority of “functioning” human beings know is bogus. Why people constantly justify their actions and push against the boundaries of others is completely beyond me. I don’t get it. It leads to nothing productive… unfortunately those people still exist.

Please forgive the cynical tone of this post it’s just that these past few weeks have been exhausting. The kind of exhausting I would not want you to experience. In light of my tiring experience I wanted to offer some wisdom in the way of boundaries and how to stick to them when that special someone is constantly trying to cross them.

  1. CONVERSATION-if this person is in their right mind and able to be conversed with have a convo-with the person who is acting as the proverbial “thorn in the flesh”. Let them know how you feel about the situation and work together (if possible) to develop a solution together.

 

If the individual is not capable of a humane conversation back off and pray. Seek the wisdom of those around you for how to deal with the person.

 

  1. UPROOT-please do not let bitterness towards the person and towards the unfair nature of the situation take root in your heart. If it has already taken root yank as hard as you can until that plant is dead. To accomplish this in a practical sense: let God know what you’re dealing with. Give it to Him. He cares so much about your heart and wants to hear what you have to say to Him. Talk to someone you know and trust about the situation. Ask them how to uproot the bitterness. Accept my apology if going to someone for help is a little too intimidating. The thing is: we are made for community and I’m not a huge fan of that self-help crap.

 

  1. MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES-if the boundaries you have set are what you need stick with them regardless of how often the “thorn” tries pushing their way into your space. If the “thorn” is too close I suggest setting boundaries that go further around your perimeter. That way the person is allowed less and less access into your personal life thus leaving much needed room in the area of your emotions and heart.

Before I take off I leave you with a touch more of the dirty truth:

                                                             life without boundaries can ruin a person.

Establish the boundaries you need and hold stick with them. Hold fast against those who choose to not acknowledge those boundaries and don’t feel guilty about protecting yourself.

God speed

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